A Reflection on Self Awareness and Self Care: Giving from the Wound or the Gift?
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| You are Worthy of Your Own Love & Care! |
When you have a heart of compassion and a purpose that
is all about helping others live their best lives, you can easily lose yourself within that quest.
Especially if you identify
as being an empath, a wounded healer, an Enneagram type 2, have a tendency towards being co-dependent, a recovering "people pleaser", and/or have any wound connected to feeling worthy or valuable only
when you were/are taking care of others. You feel me?
Our unique and amazing gifts grow out of our wounds. We can shift from these two points of reference in subtle ways and suddenly we are giving from our wound and not our gift.
It takes self-awareness and present-moment focus to notice if and when we are giving from our wounds and not our gifts.
Here is a simple way I discovered to differentiate:
When we are giving from our wounded places, we feel
exhausted, resentful, unwell, disconnected from own needs, and most likely slipping back
into unhealthy habits and patterns.
When we are giving from our gifts, we feel inspired (not tired!), full of energy,
healthy, strong, alive, honoring ourselves/our needs, and practicing good
self-care.
Even when we believe we are practicing good self-care
and awareness, it is easy to fall back and lose footing on the mountain of
self-care that best supports sharing our gifts.
Trust me! I fell back just this past week.
My purpose is all about supporting others and
nurturing soul potential. I love this work;
it fills me with such joy, and I feel so alive when I am flowing with my
gifts. But I reached a tipping point which offered an awareness point that allowed me to see myself in a pattern.
Just after offering an amazing women’s retreat
that I have been visioning and dreaming about for so many years I was carried away by the excitement in seeing the
vision fulfilled and the pull of knowing that there were many other women interested in attending “the
next one”.
Instead of pausing to fill back up and take a
moment to celebrate the magical experience birthed from my soul, I moved forward on an empty tank running on the fumes of the excitement I felt and offered another retreat right away!
Practicing being aware of my own needs and also noticing the default programming of self-neglect that can take over, is essential for me and anyone who identifies as a healer! These days I can become aware rather quickly when I start to
disconnect from myself and my own needs. Beyond that and even more importantly I can pick up cues when God is trying to take care of me when I am not!
I noticed that I was slipping into old patterns, willing to deplete myself to fill up others and yet I was still feeling the pull to make the retreat happen!
There was only one person signed up for the retreat (even
though I had many women interested). I took some advice from my own well of wisdom and shifted my focus with these questions: "why is this happening for me?" And "how is God trying to help me?"
There within the Grace of those questions, I could see more clearly. There I could feel deep compassion for myself and the willingness to take action on behalf of my own needs!
Had the retreat filled up as it did the first time that I offered it, I may have just ignored how I was feeling and moved
forward in caring for others while overriding my own needs.
Is this speaking to anyone? Do any of you sometimes find yourself in the back of
the line for your own supportive care?
Fortunately, I woke up out of the unconscious slumber
that was taking me into some dark, old wounded beliefs like "others matter
more", "I have to earn my worth" and the big one, "I’m not
valuable unless I’m needed"!
I was able to rise with love and nurturing energy for myself and canceled the event even though I was looking forward to another magical
experience of women being nurtured in nature.
It was clear that I was the one who
needed to be nurtured!
Self-care can be tricky when you are a healer and/or a
support person. Healing and tending to our old wounds, that can re-open when we are
not connected and aware, is best supported when the balance between giving and
receiving is firmly established.
We achieve this balance by giving ourselves permission to include ourselves in our own care. By committing to practice self-awareness/self-acceptance and self-love. AND most importantly when we become willing to offer ourselves
what we so easily offer others!
Not
because we have to earn it, but because we are worth it!
Soul Musings are just that, “musings”. Not advice, just an exploration of my own journey with some transformational concepts sprinkled in to support others along the way!
To learn about Transformational Hypnotherapy or to schedule a session of support with Victoria Jazwic, please visit:
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